Bringing Me to My Knees and to Baby Girl

Even thinking of this title makes me want to cry.  To say this has been a long journey is quite an understatement.  The rollercoaster that our little family has been on in the last year and a half is nothing other than the sovereignty of God and proof that He does answer prayers…all in His timing and definitely not ours!

As most of you know, Wes and I were married in October 2010.  About a year later, we decided it was time to start a family.  No sooner after making that decision, we were pregnant in December 2011.  With much joy, we shared the news with a couple of close friends while thinking of a clever way to surprise our families with the news at Christmas.  A week after the positive test, we suffered something that I can honestly say is the most suffering I've ever experience in my life.  What we thought would be a new and beautiful life, God took away from us.  On December 19, 2011 we had a miscarriage.  I was at work and I can only remember crying as my boss hugged me and cried with me.  I called Wes and then immediately drove home in a fog where he then took me in his arms and cried with me.  I kept telling myself that God is good and He did this because the pregnancy was not healthy.  The next few weeks my only response to people was, "I'm just sad."

Weeks turned into months, which then turned into many doctor appointments.  My body had not gone back to its normal "female functioning" and my oBGYN sent me to a specialist.  The specialist confirmed that I had PCoS (Polycystic ovary Syndrome).  There are of course many different levels of this condition, but it basically makes it difficult and for some, impossible, to get pregnant.  With my hope still in the doctor's wisdom, she put me on a medication that she said would cure my condition. 

So, my hope for the next 6 months was in this medication.  I took it everyday, at the exact time I was supposed to, I ate healthy, I exercised and kept waiting for it to work.  The medicine made me so sick, I lost weight, never felt well and after being so sick from it on our 2-year anniversary vacation, I threw the pills away.  I spent all my time waiting for it to kick in and watched so many other women around me get pregnant.  Being so consumed in myself, my heart began to grow bitter.  Bitterness led to anger, which led to just not caring about anyone's happiness but my own.  The only happiness I thought I needed was a precious little baby to call my own. 

Again, months went by with no medicine, no change in my "feminine functioning", and stale bitterness in my heart for anyone else that was getting pregnant other than me.  I shared how "sad" my heart was for this longing and I got so sick of hearing it myself that I just stopped talking to people about it.  Finally, one night after church, Wes and I had gotten in a huge fight about it and how badly I had been treating others.  I can't exactly remember the context of it, but I remember it ended up with me on the bathroom floor, cradled in his arms like a child and crying that I did not love God and that my heart was so angry.  It was a long, emotional night, but that was definitely that first time that God brought me to my knees with me asking that He would forgive me.

I know He started to change my heart after that and I was even able to share about it at a Ladies Night for our church on how much He had been changing my heart.  However, there was so much more, deep inside that He hadn't revealed to me yet.  A year had passed since the miscarriage and it was now 2013.  Early in January, I found out that one of my best friends who I love so much, I found out was pregnant with baby #2.  I got the phone call and I know that was one of the hardest phone calls she's ever had to make because she knew all of the junk Wes and I had been through.  I was of course happy, but still so sad that it was someone else instead of me. 

This is the point that is my favorite, not because it was fun, but because this was the second time God brought me to my knees and showed me my unbelief in His promises.  After crying for 2 days straight (Gosh, I sound like an emotional cry-baby and if you know me, you know that that is definitely not me), I laid on my bed, opened up to our church reading plan for the day and it took me to Psalm 4.  All I had to do was read the first verse and I was done.  Psalm 4:1 "Answer me when I call, o God of my righteousness!  You have given me relief when I was in distress.  Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!"  I read that and cried out loud to God, "Ya right!  These promises aren't for me."  I really believed that God was not giving me relief when I was in distress and that He was not answering my prayers because He just didn't want to hear this one.  Needless to say, after coming to that realization, confessing it to Him and having a long talk with Wes, God changed my heart so much.

I can't say to this day that I am 100% trustworthy in God and all of His timing or that I perfectly understand my wicked, unbelieving heart, but I do know that He is daily changing my heart and it is a long beautiful process.  And as most of you know, we are expecting our very first Baby Van Fleet.  I don't believe that God gave us a baby because it's exactly what I wanted or even because he finally showed me where my heart was unbelieving.  I do believe that he allowed this miracle to happen though in His timing because that was His plan.  What I truly needed was not a baby, but to see that the nearness of God was my deepest need.  The extent He went to allow me to be near to Him was graciously giving His only son for my unbelief.  Praise be to God for not just meeting our desires here on this earth, but showing that He, himself was the satisfaction that I needed. 

Lastly, happy to announce that God will be bringing Baby GIRL Van Fleet into our lives this October.  

Letter to Jenn

Today is Valentine’s Day. Many women will be at their jobs and a large bouquet of flowers will be delivered to them. Perhaps it will be accompanied by a stuffed animal and some candy. Everyone in the office will make a fuss over those women. My wife works in an office as well. She doesn’t like flowers and she’s not big on large boxes of chocolate. So this is my delivery to her. I want everyone to know that she means the world to me. This is an open letter to my bride for Valentine’s Day.

 I met a young woman in 2006 that would change my life forever. Describing her in words is unnecessary, because she is most beautiful through my eyes. Certainly there are those that see and recognize her for who she is. She is radiant, intelligent, passionate and kind. She is an amazing wife to me. But I see her as so much more. It is as if the Lord has given me a special grace to behold her in a way in which no other person can.

I find myself drawn to her in an unexplainable way. My marriage to her is not something I simply endure. I enjoy her. To be honest, she is what I look forward to every day. She brings joy to my soul. She inspires me. She challenges me. Presently we have been married for over 2 years. During these years, at times we have had to be apart. Recently we were apart for 5 days. But there has hardly been a moment that she has not been the subject of my thoughts. I would have to say that throughout the last 2 years my thoughts have been saturated with Jesus and my wife. I know that we often say we are “attracted to someone”. But it is more than that with her. There is something about her that draws me. I certainly do not think it is anything she does intentionally. I am simply taken aback, intrigued by her as a person. I am drawn to her as a collector of fine art might be drawn to a masterpiece hanging on the wall of a museum. Can you see the collector as he draws near to the work of art? He is all alone as he looks intently at the work. He inspects it. He is mesmerized by it. Others walk by, recognize the beauty and move on. But something about the work keeps this man’s attention, his affections even. He ignores the rest of the museum and spends his day beholding the beauty of this particular piece. It is clear that others recognize the beauty of my sweet wife. But they do not recognize it as I do. There is no other piece of God’s handiwork that can bring me the pleasure that she does. I have stood before her for over 2 years gazing at her beauty. I find I have not even begun to see all the beauty that lies within her. I am certain that a lifetime will not be long enough.    

I hesitate to simply say “I love my wife.” That phrase has become so cliché. I certainly do love her. But I don’t think that phrase fully expresses what I think of her. I long for her. She amazes me. I find delight in her. She is my beloved and my friend. I am perplexed when I try and understand how her small hands can have such a grasp on my heart. I can only explain the love I have for her by the grace of God. The Lord has enabled me to love her in a very unique way. I must also add that her love toward me is an extremely humbling reality. To love her is a privilege, but to be loved by her is an even greater privilege. I believe in a different kind of love than the cultural love we celebrate this day. I cling tightly to a covenantal love that is not defined by feelings or emotions, but rather, a love committed to the promises we made on our wedding day. Yet, that covenantal love is but a mere reflection of Christ's covenantal love for his bride. Not only has Christ perfectly loved his bride (the church), he lays himself down for her treason against him. Yet he holds no wrongs against her, but forgives her daily and lavishes her with his love because he is committed to his vows and promises he made to her. Jenn knows I am not her Savior, she knows I break promises, but most of all she loves her Savior more than she loves me. That fact alone is the intrinsic factor in why I treasure her. She is a reflection of the objective love of God and points me to the one who truly is committed to me, my true treasure Christ Jesus. 

I love you Jenny-bear.

The True Bridegroom

It has been over a year since I have blogged, not because I haven't had many things to say but because of busyness. I concluded another semester at Westminster Seminary California, started a full-time job in Carlsbad, and am still overseeing 25-30 people in my missional community at Kaleo Church in El Cajon. Amongst the busyness, one thing has continued to overwhelm me with goodness...my wife.

Jenn and I have been married for 640 days now. We came into the marriage with a passion for Christ, his Gospel, and his Church. We understood that marriage was created and instituted by God to show the marvelous mystery of the Gospel to the world. In fact, we understood that our sole purpose in the marriage was the glory of God alone. As I was counting the days we have been in union together I asked myself, "How well have we done at glorifying our great God in our marriage?" We have passionately shepherded and loved those we oversee. We have served our community by pouring ourselves out for them. We have learned to communicate in ways that help keep unity in our marriage when the enemy whispers lies of deceit. Above all we have relentlessly pursued one another with grace and love.

But you see, the question still lingered in my mind, "Have we glorified our God with our marriage?" Yes, we love each other massively but has our God been glorified? To help answer this question I want to look at John 2:1-12. In the first sign in John's Gospel, we have a wedding party that runs out of wine. Now, in this context it was the bridegroom's responsibility to provide the wine. Imagine all your family and friends who have traveled to come be a part of this extravagant affair. Imagine in the middle of the celebration when you realize the wine is out. What will people think?

Jesus comes to the rescue and turns six stone jars full of water, holding 20-30 gallons each, into the finest wine. Imagine the shock the bridegroom would be feeling. Would he be thankful? Of course! Yet, does he glorify God in such a miraculous sign? Nope. If we look at v.9-10 the master comes and praises the bridegroom for saving the best wine for last and the bridegroom doesn't say a thing, at least as far as John records.

The point of this text is that Jesus is showing his first sign. The first sign the King shows to the world is at a wedding, has to do with wine, and is about our joy. When we realize our God is for our joy, we can glorify him. The sign was not the end purpose though, every sign in John's Gospel points to a reality. The reality this is meant to show us is that the stone jars that were used for ritual cleansing are filled with wine. This is ultimately pointing to the true cleansing which is by Christ's blood, not ritual washing. The New Covenant (Jer. 31:31-34) is about bridegrooms like this and like me who are about their own glory, being washed in the blood of the True Bridegroom Jesus Christ. When we have been cleansed by his relentless love, we then can be about manifesting his glory (v.12) and not our own.

So, have Jenn and I glorified God with our marriage? I believe yes and no. When I do things out of selfishness while using Jesus as a way to coerce Jenn into "Godly behavior" of course not. But when we are honest about our sin, confessing them to one another and God, and ultimately reminding one another of the Gospel we can then point at his grace and give him the glory. I can say one thing with all assurance, I adore my wife like no other. She often has my attention more than my Savior does. Her beauty, her love for me, her being a place of safety, the list can go on and on. My beloved bride often is where all my attention and desires rest. Yet, it is in the times where I realize that if I love her as much as I do than God's love for his children is far too large for me to comprehend. It is when I realize that he loves her far more, is pursuing her perfectly, and that he will one day stand at the wedding feast and present her as a perfect spotless bride that I will stand in gratitude and glorify him for loving her better than I ever could.

Thank you King Jesus for being the perfect husband. Thank you God for giving me a wife I adore and showing me that your love for us is an unleashed beast that will transform us into the image of your Son. I praise you and glorify you when I look into the beautiful green eyes of my bride and know that you will one day look into our eyes and welcome us into the New Heavens and New Earth. Thank you Lord for taking the sins of your people upon your body and cleansing us. Thank you for rising from the dead to proclaim your victory over your bride. Until the wedding feast my King teach us how to glorify you.

What Do You Worship? Idols Exposed

In John 7:37-39, Jesus calls people to believe and worship him. What is so sweet is that he does this after a week long party of eating and drinking the best food and wine. After all of this, most people would be satisfied right? Wrong! Jesus knows that created things can only give temporary joy and satisfaction. So, he stands up at the end of the party and says, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink." Jesus is promising that he is the way, the truth , and the life (John 14:6). He is the single way to eternal joy, joy that starts the minute you trust him for your righteousness and payment for sins. Joy that sustains you through suffering.

The first commandment, and most important in the Bible, is God calling his people to worship him and him alone (Exodus 20:3; Matt 22:37). In the very next verse (Exodus 20:4), God calls his people to not make any carved images or idols in his place. You see, this is the condition of the human heart, we run to created things for temporary joy instead of running to the Creator who holds all things together (Colossians 1:15-20). As John Calvin said, "Man's nature, so to speak, is a perpetual factory of idols (Institutes of the Christian Religion, 1.11.8)."

The question is, whether we are Christians or not, what is it that we truly worship? What is it that our hearts truly desire? Christians will often say God because it's the "right answer," but God searches the heart of man and knows what we truly desire (Psalm 139:23-24). God woos us and draws us to himself (John 6:44), so we should be aware and fighting to love us him as he has loved us (Rom. 5:8).

Lastly, idols are often good things we have turned to for our ultimate joy instead of God. They are gifts from God meant to draw us to him for thankfulness, for the Giver is always better than the gift. These idols can be spouses, our kids, or our jobs. Deeper down they can also be our image, our self-righteousness, etc.

Below are a series of questions from David Powlison's book Seeing with New Eyes. He calls them 'X-Ray Questions' because they are useful in exposing your true desires deep down inside of you. Go through these, take your time, and above all...BE HONEST! Somehow Christianity has become people who think they have to be good and perfect, but the truth is we are still sinners drawn to worship false idols. So, enjoy this and I would love to hear anything the Spirit exposes in your heart. When idols are exposed and we find our joy, identity, and righteousness in Christ alone...it is then that we are seen by God as good, right and perfect.

X-Ray Questions

David Powlison, Seeing with New Eyes (pg. 132-40)

1. What do you love? Hate?

2. What do you want, desire, crave, lust, and wish for? What desires do you serve and obey?

3. What do you seek, aim for, and pursue?

4. Where do you bank your hopes?

5. What do you fear? What do you not want? What do you tend to worry about?

6. What do you feel like doing?

7. What do you think you need? What are your 'felt needs'?

8. What are your plans, agendas, strategies, and intentions designed to accomplish?

9. What makes you tick? What sun does your planet revolve around? What do you organize your life around?

10. Where do you find refuge, safety, comfort, escape, pleasure, security?

11. What or whom do you trust?

12. Whose performance matters? On whose shoulders does the well-being of your world rest? Who can make it better, make it work, make it safe, make it successful?

13. Whom must you please? Whose opinion of you counts? From whom do you desire approval and fear rejection? Whose value system do you measure yourself against? In whose eyes are you living? Whose love and approval do you need?

14. Who are your role models? What kind of person do you think you ought to be or want to be?

15. On your deathbed, what would sum up your life as worthwhile? What gives your life meaning?

16. How do you define and weigh success and failure, right or wrong, desirable or undesirable, in any particular situation?

17. What would make you feel rich, secure, prosperous? What must you get to make life sing?

18. What would bring you the greatest pleasure, happiness, and delight? The greatest pain or misery?

19. Whose coming into political power would make everything better? 20. Whose victory or success would make your life happy? How do you define victory and success? 21. What do you see as your rights? What do you feel entitled to?22. In what situations do you feel pressured or tense? Confident and relaxed? When you are pressured, where do you turn? What do you think about? What are your escapes? What do you escape from?

23. What do you want to get out of life? What payoff do you seek out of the things you do?

24. What do you pray for?

25. What do you think about most often? What preoccupies or obsesses you? In the morning, to what does your mind drift instinctively?

26. What do you talk about? What is important to you? What attitudes do you communicate?

27. How do you spend your time? What are your priorities?

28. What are your characteristic fantasies, either pleasurable or fearful? Daydreams? What do your night dreams revolve around?

29. What are the functional beliefs that control how you interpret your life and determine how you act?

30. What are your idols and false gods? In what do you place your trust, or set your hopes? What do you turn to or seek? Where do you take refuge?

31. How do you live for yourself?

32. How do you live as a slave of the devil?

33. How do you implicitly say, “If only...” (to get what you want, avoid what you don't want, keep what you have)?

34. What instinctively seems and feels right to you? What are your opinions, the things you feel true?

35. Where do you find your identity? How do you define who you are?

Other helpful sources:

Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick

Counterfeit gods by Tim Keller

Rant on the Attractional Church

I would love to write a ton more on this, but just have a rant to pass on:

For the past two years now, my view of the church has massively changed. First, I must state something very clearly. In 2005 I started attending church, in 2007 started Bible school and helped plant a church, and in 2008 came to the realization that I was the best law-keeping moralist I knew. I preached at church, led Bible studies, but in 2008 I was confronted with the truth of the cross and the Gospel. This may seem shocking, but I was not a believer in the crucified and risen Jesus Christ. My view up until then was that Christians are people who might have said a "sinner prayer," didn't cuss, didn't drink, and was basically a really good person. However, that all changed when I was confronted with what the Bible really said about my sin, about Jesus, and even more, my identity in Christ.

I attribute most of my moralism (Jesus + my good works trying to please God) to the type of ministry I was in. I had never heard a text preached or shared with me about sin, the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I never heard that he lived a perfect life where I had failed and died the death I deserved for failing to live perfectly. I did hear 7 ways to a happy marriage, 4 ways to be a better evangelist, basically 777 ways to earn God's love, or at least make him happy.

This type of ministry is called attractional, or event driven. The heart of this type of ministry is good, but very wrong. These churches will do everything possible to get people in the doors, entertain them, and show them that God can be cool. The major downfall with this is that 1) Jesus commanded, after all authority on heaven and earth had been given to him, believers to GO! Make Disciples! Teach Them (Matt. 28:18-20)! Understanding discipleship is a whole other discussion 2) The people who are attracted to this ministry have to always give more entertainment, more fun things, more instant satisfaction of the senses.

Attractional churches have become a place, when the church is supposed to be a people. No one in this attractional church is committed to the ministry and the body, but uses what the church offers for themselves. These churches do not believe in church discipline because we "are all sinners" and don't want our weekly statistics to drop.

So how did this happen? The Church (the people of God) from 33 A.D. on were committed to one another (Acts 2:42-47), proclaiming Christ in everyday life (1 Cor. 15:1-4; Rom. 1:16-17; Phil. 3:7-11), and on mission to the world (Acts 1:8). In the late 1900's through the beginning 2000's, especially with Billy Graham and Greg Laurie starting the Crusades (terrible reminder to the Muslim world), the Gospel began to get watered down to a prayer you say to get your ticket to heaven. No discipleship followed, just a high emphasis on church attendance, serving in the church, and tithing.

I once approached a pastor and told him I was concerned about eldership in the church, finances, and a clear preaching of the Gospel and the cross. I was told that I needed to pray more, read my Bible more, etc. and Jesus would be happy with me. This view comes from the medieval ages heresy of the Roman Catholic Church, that we are justified by our sanctification, not justified by faith in the life and death of Christ. People who attend these churches, like I did for years, have identity issues. They are not happy with God and the Gospel. They always feel they need to serve more, have a husband or wife, read their Bibles more, etc. Their identity is not in Christ, which now I know, is the most beautiful freeing thing, wanting me to serve, read, pray, etc. out of joy!!!

Life together is non-existent in this type of ministry. Other than a weekly service, one might join a small group, Bible study, home group, etc. This is a time of Bible study, which is good, but is never played out (James 1:22-27. This creates a dichotomy where you have your family life, church life, work life, when the Scripture call us to live these out together. We cannot come together once a week to surround ourselves around the Bible, but are called to live our everyday lives according to the Bible, reminding one another of it's truths.

The most pressing issue here is the Gospel. The Gospel is not something that saves us and we are free to live as we were before, or if you are really good, you study end times and the rapture. The Gospel is the power of God for salvation (Romans 1:16-17). Salvation is a past tense Ephesians 2:8, Present tense: 1 Cor. 15:2; Phil. 2:12-13 and Future tense: Acts 15:11; 1 Peter 1:3-5. This means that we use the Gospel to call one another (believers) from sin unto repentance, with the purpose that they would believe their identity in the Gospel. All sin is unbelief (read Hebrews 3-4), so we must remind each other of the Gospel. Attractional churches will either say to be more disciplined in reading or praying (which can be good), or even preach sermons calling the people of God to "just be like your favorite Bible character). The truth is we are like our favorite Bible characters, sinners in need of a Savior. We need to be reminded of how the Law condemns us, just as it did everyone in the Scriptures, but Jesus perfectly fulfilled it, was killed for our failure, and was risen 3 days later to give us life.

I have lived both sides of this, so I am critical for a reason. My prayer is that we would stop being consumeristic, finding churches that best serve and entertain us, etc. Instead, let's get back to the Gospel. Numbers are not always souls. I was a leader in a church and was not saved, this is very dangerous. I now am free because of the Gospel. My identity is in Christ. I am part of a Christ-treasuring community, formed by the Gospel and sent on mission to the world through the power of the Holy Spirit for the glory of God. If some of this offends you, I would ask that you don't get defensive because your church "is right" but to diligently search the Scriptures and compare and contrast.

Restoring Beauty

I read this today and thought it was definitely worth sharing:

"Let us suppose, in the manner of some romances, that a king was betrothed to a beautiful wife, whose picture was sent to him before he himself saw her. But when she set out on her journey to him, she fell sick of some loathsome disease, such as the smallpox or leprosy.

But suppose that he knew before she came to him that she should be restored to her first primitive beauty, and that even though he knew he would be troubled by her disaster, distemper, or disease, he easily quieted himself for that little space of time in which her infirmity, though greatly disfiguring her, was to continue. For he himself would be her physician, the only one who could cure her and restore her to her first perfect beauty, which he know he could and should do. Thus he would show all love and peace toward her, even though her disease was loathsome, in full hope of her recovery.

This is the case between Christ and the church."

A Habitual Sight of Him: The Christ-centered Piety of Thomas Goodwin

Christ in ALL SCRIPTURE

For the past year, I have been studying Christ in the Old Testament. As a newer Christian, I always saw the Old Testament as a compilation of some cool stories, some hard to understand stories, and a few scattered prophecies about Jesus. More often than not, most churches will only throw random prophecies into their sermons, but will not preach through an Old Testament book. Then, if lucky, you might get a sermon on a whole book of the OT, but without Christ as the center and climax of every sermon. Why does this matter? There is a nasty thing called moralism that will take place. Example: Your pastor preaches on David and Goliath. Your pastor builds up David as this hero of faith who takes down the big challenges in life. The application then becomes, whatever your "big challenge" in life is right now (financial problems, relational problems, loss of a loved one), just have faith like David and you will conquer your own Goliath. This is called moralism. Moralism calls you to add some of your own work to please God, denying that his atoning death on the cross was full payment for your sin, AND his perfect righteousness was transferred to you (2 Cor. 5:21).

The truth is when we are given commands in the New Testament (Work as you are working for Christ, love your wife like Christ loved the Church, etc.), we are bound to fail if we do not understand the indicatives. Throughout Scripture, there is a redemptive story of God being graceful to His people, promising that He would be our God and we would be His people. All of this can only be true in the person and work of Christ, because he alone was the one who lived a perfectly sinless obedient life, and the only one who could be the perfect substitute for us on the cross.

So, when reading the redemptive story, especially in the New Testament, we must look at what Jesus says in Luke 24. iN 24:13-48, after being resurrected from the dead, Jesus appears, first, to a couple dudes on the Road to Emmaus and beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scripture the things concerning himself (v.27). The passage goes on to say that because of this their eyes were opened (v.31) and their hearts burned within them (v.32). Later in Luke 24:44-48, Jesus does the same thing with the disciples.

Yesterday, I heard a lecture from pastors/authors Tim Keller and the late Edmund Clowney on this necessary topic of reading and preaching the Scriptures. The same day, I came across a quote from the lecture in Darrin Patrick's book called Church Planting. The quote is lengthy but is a sweet glimpse into the correct way of interpreting Scripture. Please read and enjoy:

"Jesus is the true and better Adam who passed the test in the garden and whose obedience is imputed to us.

Jesus is the true and better Abel who, though innocently slain, has blood now that cries out, not for our condemnation, but for acquittal.

Jesus is the true and better Abraham who answered the call of God to leave all the comfortable and familiar and go out into the void not knowing whither he went to create a new people of God.

Jesus is the true and better Isaac who was not just offered up by his father on the mount but was truly sacrificed for us. And when God said to Abraham, "Now I know you love me because you did not withhold your son, your only son whom you love from me," now we can look at God taking his Son up the mountain and sacrificing him and say, "Now we know that you love us because you did not withhold your Son, your only Son, whom you love from us."

Jesus is the true and better Jacob who wrestled and took the blow of justice we deserved, so we, like Jacob, only receive the wounds of grace to wake us up and discipline us.

Jesus is the true and better Joseph who, at the right hand of the king, forgives those who betrayed and sold him and uses his new power to save them.

Jesus is the true and better Moses who stands in the gap between the people and the Lord and who mediates a new covenant.

Jesus is the true and better Rock of Moses who, struck with the rod of god's justice, now gives us water in the desert.

Jesus is the true and better Job, the truly innocent sufferer, who then intercedes for and saves his stupid friends.

Jesus is the true and better David whose victory becomes his people's victory, though they never lifted a stone to accomplish it themselves.

Jesus is the true and better Esther who didn't just risk leaving an earthly place but lost the ultimate and heavenly one, who didn't just risk his life, but gave his life to save his people.

Jesus is the true and better Jonah who was cast out into the storm so that we could be brought in.

Jesus is the real Rock of Moses, the real Passover Lamb, innocent, perfect, helpless, slain so the angel of death will passover us. He's the true temple, the true prophet, the true priest, the true king, the true sacrifice, the true lamb, the true light, the true bread.

The Bible's really not about you, it's about him."

Here are a list of some good resources on Bible interpretation:

Brian Chappell's Christ-Centered Preaching

Tim Keller & Edmund Clowney Audio Class http://itunes.apple.com/us/itunes-u/preaching-christ-in-postmodern/id378879885

Sidney Greidanus's Preaching Christ from the Old Testament

Graeme Goldsworthy's Preaching the Whole Bible as Christian Scripture

Graeme Goldsworthy's Gospel-Centered Hermeneutics

Darrin Patrick's Church Planter

Shai Linne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwR_L5pzX70

Gospel Shepherding vs. "Christian Counseling"

At Kaleo Church, we have had the sweet blessing of having a partnership with Soma Communities in Seattle/Tacoma, Wa. They have been training us, as of lately, on Gospel Shepherding. Gospel Shepherding, like all other works of ministry, stems from the view and call that elders are to equip the body of Christ for the work of the ministry (Eph. 4:11-12). Before I compare and contrast Gospel Shepherding with traditional "Christian Counseling," I want to show what equipping the body of Christ means for the body of Christ.

1) This means that the elders/pastors (hopefully you have a plurality of elders) are willing and must love equipping the church for the work of the ministry.

2) This also means that the elders cannot have superiority issues when training up the body of Christ, meaning: There cannot be any arrogance thinking that God has called them (the elders) to handle the whole load of ministry by themselves. Instead, the elders will find joy equipping the body for the work of the ministry.

3) This also means that the body of Christ, when equipped, does not see themselves as having the authority of the elders, but working as a body to serve the body. So, in essence, equipping will continue equipping, which will continue equipping...a cycle that is healthy and matures each part of the body.

So, traditional "Christian Counseling" calls either a pastor or professional counselor to give advice to a person struggling with sin, pre-marital advice, etc. This pastor/counselor will usually meet with a person once a week, at most. Can this really offer a view into this person's life? Most people who are counseling a man/woman struggling with sin are not involved in their everyday life. Their is no solid community that sees the person's struggle, leaving the counselor to use random methods to stop the sinner's behavior. This is because they only see the bad fruit of the sin, not the root.

What about the method of the traditional way? Far too often in Christian Counseling, and all of Christianity, struggling people are counseled with Law. What I mean is that when one struggles with anger, the counselor would respond with, "Be angry and do not sin (Eph. 4:26). Or, someone might be struggling with enjoying their work, to which the counselor might respond, "You need to work for the Lord (Col. 3:23)." Yes, these are from the Word of God, but they are commands that are only possible because of the indicatives that are true of us. These truths are all found in the Gospel. We are a people that deserved to die for our sin, but Christ died in our place. We could not obey the law, so Christ did perfectly for us. By putting our faith in his work, we are given the righteousness and eternal life he deserved. So, when one counsels without reassurance of their true identity and what they are not believing about the Gospel, we leave them trying to "be angry and not sin," or to "work as if working for the Lord."

Gospel Shepherding looks completely different than one on one counseling, although there are times for that. Gospel Shepherding equips the body of Christ, who are actively living in community (this means seeing one another more than at a mid-week Bible study and weekend church service), to encourage or correct one another with the Gospel. You see, when doing life together, people are bound to rub each other the wrong way, making sin habits more visual, and also building a love for one another, resulting in men and women desperate to aid in the sanctification of one another by the Spirit, through the power of the Gospel. Think of how your family knows you and how differently you act around them than you do at a church service. The point is to get the body of Christ living real life together, for the sake of glorifying our God. Gospel Shepherding allows the body to shepherd one another, in real life, instead of seeing a person who does not know how you even live your real life. A person who is involved in your everyday life will be the first to see your struggle with sin, the way your husband/wife, mom/dad would be the first to see sin. Instead of trying to correct the bad fruit (anger, worry, etc.), Gospel Shepherds understand that bad fruit occurs because of unbelief in the Gospel (Hebrew 3:7-4:13). Again, all sin stems from an unbelief in the Gospel. That is why we must constantly remind one another of our identity in the Gospel (Eph. 1-3).

While traditional "Christian Counseling" will give a list of "to-do's," which is Law based, Gospel Shepherding allows sinner's to be restored from disbelieving the Gospel, to a people who are consistently being reminded of who their God is, what He has done, who they are in light of who He is and what He has done, and how they can live as a result. Friends, I beg you, stop seeing the Gospel as a past tense event that gives you a pass to Heaven, but see it for what it is: The means and power of salvation (Rom. 1:16-17) in the PAST (Eph. 2:8), PRESENT (1 Cor. 15:2; Phil. 2:12-13), and FUTURE (Acts 15:11; 1 Peter 1:3-5). The Gospel forms a Community on Mission. Community and Mission cannot happen without the Gospel, so let us see the Gospel as the lifeblood of who we are!

The Sad Departure that Leads to Eager Expectation

On Thursday October 14, Jenny and I had our rehearsal dinner for our upcoming wedding. After a sweet night of enjoying good food, friends, and family, I had to leave to go an hour and a half home to San Diego. Jenn and I had a long distance relationship for quite a long time, but the distance never caused any trouble in our relationship. However, on this night, my sad departure would lead to eager expectation. What I mean by that is that on that night I learned one of the coolest lessons God has taught me through her. You see, it was sad because it was a sweet night and we did not want to leave one another, but it led to eager expectation in both of our hearts because the next time I would see her, and she would see me, was when her dad would be walking her down the stairs at our wedding to give me her hand in marriage.

Instantly, when I saw this mixture of sadness and excitement in her eyes, I could not help but think of what Jesus said to his disciples in John 16. Jesus tells his disciples that he would be leaving them soon, that he is returning to the Father (16:5), and that the Spirit will come upon them (16:7). Then, John 16:16 hit home like never before. It says:

A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me."

That night I left and could not get the look on Jenny's face, especially her eyes, out of my head. She knew I had to leave, but at the same time, she knew that the next time we saw one another would be especially sweet. In the same way, Jesus left his disciples, but did not leave them without hope. Our hope, as those justified by the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ, is that Jesus will return to capture his bride (Matt. 24:31; 2 Thess. 1:10). We do not have to live this life filled with sadness because God the Son has left us, but we can have a hope that is sure because our God never lets us down. Our Jesus is preparing his elect a place to live with him and worship him forever (John 14:3). One of my favorite passages about what our life will be like in heaven is Revelation 19:5-10. The Apostle John is having a vision about how Jesus has fulfilled his promise to capture his bride. In the vision, his bride is in a beautiful state of worship and are glorifying Jesus, for he alone is worthy.

On October 17th, I got to watch by beautiful bride walk down spiral stairs and into the covenant of marriage with me. It was amazing. What it was, in all reality, was a small glimpse of how our Savior will come back to get his bride. He will not leave us. It is okay to be sad but eagerly expectant, but we DO have a true hope in the person and work of Christ. I am so stoked about my marriage and how it is used as a means to fall deeper in love with God. "Hallelejah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns (Rev. 19:6b)." Grace and peace.

Side note: Another sweet lesson I learned was the love it must have taken for God the Father to send His Son to take on flesh and die for enemies. That day, Jenny's dad gave her away to me. I watched his eyes and understood a little bit better what it must be like to give away one you love with all your heart. Our God loves us so much, enough to give His only Son to live the perfect life that we could not live, pay the price of eternal punishment that we deserved on the cross, and rise from the dead to give us life. Praise Him, HE IS WORTHY!

Church Discipline: A Necessary Means of Grace

The words "church discipline" might make some just instantly stop reading, but I highly suggest you read the lyrics of this song by Stephen the Levite. I have been part of a church that does not practice biblical church discipline and I am now part of a church that does. I always saw it as such a necessary means of grace in the Bible, but never saw it played out. Over the last 9 months I have watched what it looks like to be in a truthful community that practices church discipline as a means of grace, for the purpose of restoration, and I can honestly say it is very necessary in the local church and every believers life. One of the most dangerous things a local church can do is avoid church discipline to make their members feel more comfortable, or avoid it for keeping "numbers. Check out these lyrics and let me know what you think about this topic:

This idea started back in the garden/ when Adam and Eve sinned and God sought to pardon them/ He discharged them, placin' a flamin' sword at the gate along with the cherubim charged to guard it// One could argue it started back even farther with Satan/ I see what you're sayin' but please peep the point I'm makin'/ there's a basic distinction that separates them/ the goal of man's displacement was restoration// We see the contrast in Gen. 3:15/ the serpent's eternally cursed, but The Seed redeems/ In conjunction with judgment we read of a dream/ of a world free of the enemies schemes// But there's a process proceeding the promise/ it's hard, yes, but by His mercy it's not death/ 'cause if they would've ate from the tree of life in their dyin' state/ their resurrection could never take place// And that's the Lord's grace and sanctification/ that shapes men and claims a nation so pagans praise Him/ the big picture I'm givin' is/ mentioned throughout scripture when sinners are driven out for dissin' Him// so keep listenin'/ the topic is not a popular one but you know how we get it in/ it's church discipline, the grace is doubted/ but the body of Christ has A.I.D.S. without it// yeah

"Authority and Church Discipline" x3 "If excommunicated what body would they be missin' in"

If a brother or sister offends you talk to 'em/ if the issue is in scripture then walk through 'em/ if they still ain't listenin' bring witnesses/ prayin' the evidence of the 2 or 3 is convincing, if// it still doesn't work, take it to the church/ the Lord's official spiritual judicial system on earth/ and they'll determine whether to bind or loose them/ scrutinizing the proof for a final resolution// to loose 'em is to render a dudes sin forgivin'/ due to viewin' the true fruit of repentance/ binding 'em means finding 'em guilty/ drawin' a line between the fly and the filthy// 'cause when a few of 'em gather in His authority/ He's in the midst of them, judging and ruling accordingly/ So the Lord is takin' responsibility/ making Himself the true object of hostility// 'cause when you're handing a man over to Satan/ for the destruction of his flesh in order to save him/ and the whole church cuts communication/ cats with punkish views of love start hatin'// but true love is to hate sin/ trustin' that God provides through his prescribed means to break men/ but they'll see when the prodigal comes back/ and they slaughter a beast and the party is dumb phat//

"Authority and Church Discipline" x3 "They turn to the steeple and return to the sheepfold, isn't that just like God's people?"

A few more things for us to consider/ unforgiveness over time becomes bitter/ and bitterness can spread just like a virus/ infecting the whole body with plank in the iris// it blinds us of our own sin, then close friends/ have to tell us we're lunchin' and if we don't listen/ then the whole process is starting up again/ the sin that we tossed out leavens the whole lump again// another counter-productive part of the process/ is the broadcast of slanderous gossip/ even if all the information is true/ the resulting view, of the person or issue is skewed/ then you feel strange and ought'a confront them/ but pride reminds you where your info comes from/ and who wants to be caught in hypocrisy?/ nobody. so you lock your thoughts away and you toss the key// but that won't stop the beef/ cause sooner or later, what you believe becomes your behavior unless you plot for peace/ it's hard not to see, somebody's got to speak/ if not the sin cycle repeats, it's got to cease// The process done properly shows love to everybody/ and the gospel is preached inaudibly/ The God of Peace squashed the beef at the cross of Jesus/ modeling peace-making for the whole flock to see//

Church Membership: What it is and is not

I have always struggled with the fact of what church membership is because it seems to be a check mark on a box, a couple classes, and not much past that. The Scriptures show that membership is giving of all things and all of ourselves to one another for the good of the body...not for the good of a church service! I have been experiencing true gospel community and membership for the last 6 months and there is nothing more encouraging that pushes me to adore Jesus Christ more and more. One of my favorite rappers is Stephen the Levite, and he addresses the topic quite well. Here is the link to the song and the lyrics are below. Peace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DZydYuElzg

Listen, this is written for long term visitors/ non-committers who get the word, but never get to work/ at least not in conjunction with a church/ they stay away and say they afraid of getting hurt// but pain is never excuse for disobedience/ church wasn't created to cater to your convenience/ And God didn't give you gifts to be greedy with/ mission without the church is missing a main ingredient// I know I rushed in without much of an introduction/ but membership is what we're discussin'/ committing to a community through a covenant/ and doing the 'one another's of scripture with brethren// (membership!) it actually happens at salvation/ but practically it happens in active participation/ if 1 is a fact then 2 the demonstration/ for the maturing Christian nothing should separate them// If 1 is the truth, then number 2 is the proof/ if it's aloof, then number 1 is a lion without a tooth/ If not the elect, who's inspecting your fruit?/ Just a select group of heads from your crew? (that's not a test dude!)// It's more like a bad science experiment/ with no control groups in the lab and bias experiences/ It's foolish to laugh denyin' it's serious/ when the only proof that you have is kinda mysterious//

Hook: This may be bold to say/ but if you're not a part of a church, how do you know that you're saved?/ the chances are you're prob'ly not a bit/ the objective evidence is sayin' the opposite// A body without biblical membership/ is sick, and their health depends on them getting' it/ so though you claim to be in it kid, please consider this/ if you is, then show us (How you livin' it?)//

We live in the days of the consumer/ shopping's a coveted skill and bloggers write reviews up/ no one commits, people leave when they choose 'cause/ ain't nobody tryin' to be tied down, with too much// labor only lasts as long their passions/ cats dip sayin' they feel bad with no sadness/ they want the good stuff without the attachments/ like friends with benefits of the ecclesial fashion// playin the church like the girls that you date then/ you criticize her like you're Seinfeld (or Satan!)/(explain) You sit in the back makin' your accusations/ but you ain't willin' to aid in her sanctification?!// (hypocrite.) I know that I'm gettin' a little hype but/ you gotta understand the church was purchased by Christ's blood/ And if Levi got jealous for Dinah/ of course the Levite's gon' be zealous for the Bride cuz// we see that Haggai and Zechariah/ were willin' to work wit Israel, not just prophesy stuff/ You can check for yourself in Ezra 5:1/ then wrestle with verse 2 until you're ready to die (What!?)//(Yup) I didn't stutter, you heard me right bruh/ dyin' is the price for being up in the cypha/ It's all or nothin', cat's are puttin' their life up/ but you be isolated like you don't even like us//

Hook

Membership is not a check in a box/ or an altar call response when the sermon is hot, it's/ privileges bought with His blood on the cross/ and it separates the flock from the world that is lost kid/ membership is being a part of the body/ but how can you be a body part when apart from the body?/ (and furthermore) How could you possibly think it's godly/ when God is 1, or even 3 in 1, but He's not 3?!/ I know the reality's universal/ but practically it has to be tangible to the world too/ so how do we gather to spur the virtues/ when our anatomy has been scattered throughout the Earth dude?// the local church has entered the picture/ the form of the assembly most mentioned scripture/ this is what you were given spiritual gifts for/ to Voltron with a squad and add your steez to the mixture// They're also the tools used to fix ya/ iron sharpens iron, sparks flyin', it's sick stuff/ but don't try to punk out when it gets rough/ Satan's like a roaring lion tryin' to vic' ya// He's waitin' for you faint when it gets tough/ straggle at the back of the flock and you might be his lunch/ Or maybe you'll prove you were never His bruh/ 1 John 2:19 homie, you with us?//

Hook

Filling the Voids

This last Saturday my pastor was preaching on Eph. 2:14-21. He taught how we all have these massive voids in our lives, and they can only be filled with the love of Christ. According to Paul, Christ's love "surpasses knowledge" and we can be "filled with ALL the fullness of God. (v.19)." Also, in v.17, Paul says that "through faith Christ can dwell in our hearts." This was big for me! We all say things like, "I need Jesus." Or, "I love Jesus with all my heart." However, what happens when we are filling down, anxious, needy, depressed, etc.? We start grabbing the first thing that goes by to fill our voids. Right? Most people do this with people or possessions.

Think about it. When you are feeling needy or unwanted, what do you do? If you have a spouse, fiancee, best friend, whatever it may be, we fill our voids with them right? And what is bound to happen? They will prove every time that they cannot fill us. They will let us down because they are sinful just like us. So, we end up filling our voids with them, they let us down, and we have another void and want it filled again. It is a vicious cycle!

What Paul is trying to do here is to get the Ephesian church, and us, to understand the "breadth and length and height and depth" of this love that can fill us every single time. Last night as we discussed this at missional community, my pastor made a sweet point: If we go to God to be filled with this love that surpasses knowledge, do we really believe that He won't fill us. Do we believe that if someone else is seeking to be filled with this love, God will be like, "Uh, sorry Wes, wait til Jenny is done using my love?" No way!!! He wants us to be filled with nothing but His love. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!

In a culture where we need everything as fast as we demand (thanks to high speed internet, iPhones, etc.) we have become a demanding, impatient people. However, this love that fills with all the fullness of God is right at the foot of the cross if we would just approach the graceful God who willingly died upon the cross. At the cross He poured out his love on the undeserving, why would He not want to pour it out on us still?

Whatever your false Savior is: spouse, fiancee, friend, gadgets, money, let it go because it will only cause a bigger void. However, if you fill the voids with Christ, you can love the people in your life unconditionally and not get angry, sad, anxious when they fail you. Be filled with His fullness. Peace.

Do you believe?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the loved ones in my life. This includes family members, close friends, and acquaintances. When I think about there claims that they "believe" in God, my heart is just covered in sadness. You see, we are in a culture where we completely worship ourselves, want to live our lives for us, and we might on a quick "I believe in God" statement just in case there is a God. As this weight has continued to press me lately, I have been reading through the Gospel of John a lot to see what "believing" really means.

In John 6, Jesus feeds 5,000+ hungry people by turning 2 loafs of bread into enough to feed all of them. So everyone is full and there is even bread left over, but something crazy happens. These 5,000+ people who saw this miraculous miracle got upset when Jesus says that the physical bread he gave them will perish, but he himself is the bread that gives eternal life (6:27). These 5000+ disciples leave Jesus' presence and He is left with just the 12 disciples (v.66-71). They wanted just the physical quick temporary pleasure, like so many of us today, instead of the fulfilling Jesus that would satisfy them for eternity.

Again, in John 8 Jesus is defending himself among the religious leaders and explaining that He IS GOD. In v.30, these folks "believe" in Him. Or do they? In the very next verse (v.31), Jesus says to the Jews who HAD (past tense) believed in him that the truth will set them free. This begins an argument where they say they cannot be free if they are not enslaved. Jesus goes on to prove they are enslaved to their sin (v.32-57), claims again to be God, and look what happens next: Those who "believed" try to kill Jesus in v.59.

You see, so many people have been fooled into the lie that saying a quick prayer when they were at an 8th grade camp has secured them eternity with Jesus. However, these texts I showed you give us an example of continued belief. We are to trust in Christ as our Savior, not just once but always!! In a culture where we run to sex with random partners, substance abuse, materialism, vacations, etc. to give us that quick pleasure, it is only Jesus, the eternal bread of life, that can sustain and fulfill us. So please, if you are reading this and are unsure of your salvation, please read the Bible, call me or a friend who loves Jesus, and spend time asking God to reveal Himself to you. Jesus is the most beautiful treasure one can ever find (Matt. 6:44).

Gospel Community

I am reading a book right now called Total Church by Tim Chester and Steve Timmis (the 2 founders of the Crowded House Ministries in the UK). The book is basically all about shaping churches around the gospel and community, which community in itself must be gospel centered as well, because without the gospel, no community. They have a part that explains the failure of churches in the UK when it comes to gospel centered churches, but I believe this can relate to the majority of churches in America as well. Here it is, word for word, let me know what you think:

"The reason the UK church is not effective in mission is because we are not making disciples who can live well for Christ in today's culture and engage compellingly with the people they meet....Jesus has a 'train and release' strategy, while overall we have a 'convert and retrain' strategy." In the last twenty years, it claimed, we have produced plenty of creative evangelistic materials, but little to help Christians connect their faith to the whole of life. This has created a sacred-secular divide: "the pervasive belief that some things are important to God--such as church, prayer meetings, social action etc. -- but other human activities are at best neutral -- work, school, sport, leisure, the arts, rest, sleep." As a result:

The vast majority of Christians have not been helped to see that who they are and what they do every day in schools, workplaces, or clubs is significant to God, nor that the people they spend time with in those everyday contexts are the people God is calling them to pray for, bless, and witness to. So we pray for our Sunday services but not, for example, for schoolteachers working 40 hours a week in schools among children and adults who on the whole don't know Jesus. We pray for oversees missionaries but not for Christian electricians, builders, shop assistants and managers in our own towns.... We have simply not been envisioned, resourced and supported to share the Good News of Jesus in our everyday contexts.

Pretty good stuff huh? You guys and gals should check the book out, it has blown me away. The authors close this specific chapter with this:

"We need non-full time leaders who can model whole-life, gospel-centered, missional living. It means thinking of our workplaces, homes, and neighborhoods as the location of mission."

I really like that. My own personal opinion is that the Church's biggest failure has been pushing people to invite people to church, instead of preparing them to share the gospel with people. Romans 1:16 says the gospel is the power of salvation, not the Church. We are to live out the gospel, for God uses the gospel alone to save, not our unique ways of getting people in a worship service. I hope this made everyone think like it did me.

Me, me, me

And he (Jesus) said to all, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." -Luke 9:23

In the middle of January, I began studying an ethic called Egoism. Egoism basically states that we as humans will ALWAYS do what is best for us. There is no such thing as doing good to, or for, others because, in theory, we want something back from them. Wanting something back can be anything from material goods, friendship, or even a hope that they might see the person doing good as a "good person." As I studied this a bit, I sat and observed those around me...and watched myself even closer.

Ever since I started observing, I noticed that the scariest thing about this theory is that I noticed myself and many other Christians thinking they can manipulate God. I started to realize that sometimes I would pray, alone or by myself, hoping that God would give me the comfort I need, make my engagement stay so amazing, etc. Now, I must say, God does do those things but I believe when we have the lenses on to look at ourselves and benefit ourselves instead of our eyes to God, then we are egoists manipulating God.

In a recent sermon, JR Vassar explains how we lie to ourselves and to God so often to try to look good for others. He explains a lot of this comes from our high view of self-importance. He gives an illustration about this. He said, "Everytime any of us bought a yearbook, what was the first thing we did? We flipped back to the index, found our name, and turned straight to our own picture." So true!!!

I believe our lives are still like this, I know mine is. This egoism theory really jacked me up because, as I watched myself closely, a lot of what I do is secretly for approval. I noticed we seek God's approval buy manipulating Him, we seek others approval by veiling our sin by pretending we have it all together while easily noticing others sin. A friend once told me, "if you can pinpoint a person's sin that they are trying to hide, you can be sure that you have done the same and that is why it upsets you so much at what they are doing.

I believe there is another type of egoism that I have noticed. People who deny serving others because they have an "excuse." As Christ followers, we are to love God and love others, not ourselves. This type of egoist, who serves himself/herself will work 8-12 hour days and believe serving others is not necessary because they worked a long day or something, that they have earned the right to be selfish as if their work earned them that. Christ has called us to deny ourselves DAILY. However, some believe that because they are doing so much of one thing, maybe comparing their life to another person, that they can leave the serving (whether it be praying with others, cleaning up after themselves and others, etc.) to the person who has "less going on." This is sad to see and I see it all the time in Christianity. We should consider ourselves less than the next person, no matter what the situation, social class, position, etc.

Here is the application I have got from all of my observing. If we have trusted in Christ, than it is no longer us who live but Christ who lives in us (Gal. 2:20). 1 Cor. 6:19-20 talks about our bodies being the temple of the Holy Spirit, we are not our own anymore, SO GLORIFY GOD with your body. This is not something, if you come to the realization that you ARE an egoist, that you will fix the second you are done reading this. However, we must observe ourselves and yield to glorify God. I have been praying Psalm 139:23-24 for a while now, and it is amazing how wicked the Spirit reveals me to be, but that forces me to depend on God and not myself.

I hope this does not come off as harsh, but a motivator to glorify God and serve others. This theory rattled me pretty hard, but might just be the best rattling I could have gotten.

Hating the works of your hero: Martin Luther

On October 31, 1517 Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the front door of the Catholic Church. They were selling indulgences(forms that would get someone out, or shorten their time in purgatory) to build up the church. The Latin Vulgate was the only Bible used from 400-1400+ and very few people could read Latin. So, it was up to the priests to teach the Bible and before long the Church became the dominating and authoritative figure in the church. That was until Martin Luther stepped up and fought for Scripture to be read as is and taught to the people. 2 Tim. 3:16-17 states:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.

Martin Luther understood this. If you ask Christians today who their heroes are, Martin Luther will usually dominate the list, outside of Jesus and the Apostle Paul of course. However, most who would claim that Luther is a hero of Christianity would treat him the same way he was treated back them.

The Main Issue: Luther saw the Scriptures as all about Christ and that Christ should be our treasure, nothing else. However, I see a filthy battle going on in America right now. Church has once again been raised in authority over the person and work of Jesus Christ. When I first went to church, I started thinking I needed Jesus so I could get into heaven, so I could have an easier life, etc. It was not until a year and a half later, while attending church every Sunday, that I came to the conclusion, from the bible, that salvation is through trusting in the person and work of Christ. My silly attempts at earning it were feeble, my "serving" the church was a way to earn it, and my false evangelism (inviting people to church) were all weak attempts to earn God's favor.

Christ, which Martin Luther would risk his life to make known, is what is necessary for salvation. It is not a ticket to heaven, because heaven with no Christ is rubbish! When we trust in Christ, it is natural that we become part of a Christ-treasuring, gospel-centered community of believers. Our evangelism should be Christ crucified, not a come to church method. Not once did Jesus teach His disciples to go out and bring people to the synagogue because He was teaching something that would itch their ears (2 Tim. 4:3), but He commanded the disciples to preach Christ crucified and resurrected, then make disciples (1 Cor. 15:1-4; Matt. 28:16-20).

Unfortunately, the truth's of the cross burn bridges sometimes, when it is meant to unite believers. Luther was persecuted for explaining that Christ crucified and resurrected was far more of a treasure than being obedient to the church's heresy. Luther loved Jesus. Luther was very knowledgeable and he produced many good works out of his love for Christ. The emergent church and it's devout followers attack those who seek knowledge, overemphasize church over Jesus, and believe that all we need to do is love one another. This generation holds a lot of fiery men and women who will not stand for such garbage, and like Luther, will be told they are enemies of the Church. Praise God for these men and women, and the leaders that have not swayed from the truth and have built selfless Kingdom minded gospel communities and ignore the silly myths the "seeker-sensitive" methods. R.C. Sproul says this about the seeker-sensitive movement:

"It is a very bad thing. 1)It rests on the fundamental error that unbelievers outside the church are desperately seeking for God. 2) The purpose for corporate worship on Sunday is to reach the lost."

Why is this important? Sproul goes on to say:

"The Bible (Rom.1-3) is clear that NO ONE seeks after God. The only people who seek after God are those who have been born again."

So, let's look to the Scriptures about all matters like the cross of Christ, Church, evangelism, etc. Martin Luther fought for us to have the Word and live by the Word, Sola Scriptura. When one has a good knowledge of the Word, they treasure Christ more and more, and evangelism becomes a natural, loving effect instead of a guilt forced sales-pitch.

Treasure Christ!

The Sun Shined (just for me)

As many of you know, I am now an engaged man. I am engaged to who I honestly believe to be the most amazing woman in the world, and I am serious about that. We got engaged on 1/16/10 at the beach in Dana Point where we had our first date. I read Ephesians 5:25-26 to her and explained how I want to be this man to her and will fight to do so. Now, before I go on I must set the context a bit, which is a bit ugly.

In February of 2008 I was preparing to ask a girl to marry me. I had spent hours in prayer about the situation and had a steady uneasiness about my decision, but I was trying to be Jesus to her and was quite disobedient by trying to do the work of the Holy Spirit instead of letting the Spirit do His job. So, I prayed a silly prayer asking God to give me a sign if I was not supposed to propose, even though I wasn't even sure if God gave signs at that time. To make a long story short, the weather had been beautiful until I prayed, then instantly turned dark out, poured hardcore rain, and I still asked. I instantly came down with my first ear infection ever, and was so dizzy that I was confined to my bed. Did I listen? Nope! After months of chaos and fighting, I forced the marriage and she divorced me 5 months later.

Back to the present time. I have been dating the most Godly, intelligent, funny, beautiful, real, secure woman I have ever met. We had been talking Scripture and talking for quite a few months and building a friendship. However, I knew she was going to be my wife. So, I spent months in prayer about whether I should propose or not, if the marriage would be honoring and glorifying to God, and other little prayers. No conviction or doubt came whatsoever.

So, driving to Dana Point the sky was covered with clouds. As we got near the spot where I was going to propose I asked God, because of my scars from the divorce, "Lord, can you bring the sun out while I ask her?" Can you do this as an extra bit of reassurance because of my prior disobedience?" As we pulled up to the beach, the sun shone through like no other and stayed that way throughout the whole proposal, amazing! The next day I stood worshipping the Lord in all His goodness and just wept at the love and grace He continuously shows to His repentant children.

In 9 months, on 10/17/10, Jennifer Marie Thomas will be my bride. This makes my heart so soft and humble. How amazing it will be to run this race with a partner who is passionate about sharing the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. I can be me without any worrying around my Jenny: I can serve Christ 100% without being laughed at, I can fart, laugh like a girl, eat BJ's buffalo pizza all day, watch 24 with her, and on and on and on!!!!

The sun shines so much brighter when you experience the darkness it saves you from. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jenny, and thank you friends and family (the ones who supported me and did not judge).

A.L.I.V.E.

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Philippians 3:20

One of my Bible professors used to always say, "As Christians we need to always be cross-eyed and crown headed." I spent all of last year being "cross eyed," completely focused on the cross that Jesus came to die upon to pay for my sin. The cross is something that I can endlessly study, meditate on, and it never leaves me feeling bored or content, but leaves me humbly living in obedience to God, denying myself, and taking up my cross daily (Luke 9:23).

However, the part of being "crown-headed" never really clicked until a couple of months ago. My teacher really meant that we are to push for eternal rewards (crowns), but all I need as my treasure and reward is Jesus Christ. I have been thinking and processing the reality of heaven and eternity a lot lately. I think, as Christians, we know heaven is real, we know we will be there eventually, but do we really know how real it is? The same Bible professor who used to tell us to live this way also used an acronym A.L.I.V.E. (Always Living In View of Eternity). Really think about that, we would live different if we consistently thought in an eternal perspective.

How would we engage people differently? How would we react to temptation when it stares us right in the face? Would our obedience to the Word of God go far beyond orthodoxy (right knowing) and move on to orthopraxy (right doing)?

Lately I just keep thinking what it will be like seeing Jesus face to face, really, think about that moment. The tears flowing, seeing the unseen that you had faith in (Hebrews 11:1), and literally talking with God the Son who saved you from eternal separation from Him. Can you imagine? What about understanding all the mysteries of God? Finding out what your job will be for all eternity? Talking with Moses, Paul, Elijah, Stephen, relatives, people who trusted in Christ because of you and you don't even know them? What about the thought of no more tears (Revelation 21:4), no more sin, no more abandonment?

Those are just some things I wanted to share that I have been processing lately. Think about these things. Sometimes we get so caught up in life, obedience, hurt, happiness, etc. that we forget to ponder what IS to come. Praise God for these things, all the glory to Him!

Also, listen to the new Phil Wickham CD titled Heaven and Earth. Phil is an amazing singer/songwriter and his new album is all about eternity. It has brought me to tears numerous times as I praise God for the truth of eternity.